Where Are You Headed? What's Your Narrative and Purpose?

In my last blog post, I explored the distinction between purpose and narrative in the context of institutions. I’m going to shift here to explore how these concepts operate at the level of the individual. There are some similarities, but there are also some differences.

For those who haven't read my previous posts, let me start with some definitions. I’ve been exploring narrative for years, but I have a very specific meaning for the word. As those who have followed me know, I make a key distinction between stories and narratives. In short, stories for me have two characteristics: they’re self-contained (they have a beginning, a middle and an ending) and they’re about the story teller or some other people, but they’re not about you (although you can use your imagination to explore what you might have done in the story). In contrast, narratives for me are open-ended, there is no resolution yet, but there is some significant opportunity or threat on the horizon that is yet to be achieved and it’s not clear whether it will be achieved. The resolution of the narrative hinges on you: it is a call to action to those you are addressing, telling them that their choices and actions will play a material role in helping to resolve the narrative. You can find more on this here and here.

There are lots of definitions of purpose, so let me offer mine. I consider purpose to be a commitment to achieve some kind of significant impact in the world around you.

Exploring personal narratives

So, what’s the connection between narrative and purpose at the level of the individual? Here, I must tread softly since I know there’s a whole discipline of “narrative psychology”, and I happen to disagree with most of the ways these folks discuss narratives. I’m not saying they're wrong and I’m right; I’m simply suggesting that I have a different approach to narratives that may provide some additional insight and value that the conventional approaches do not.

Narrative psychologists tend to approach narratives as stories. A personal narrative in their view is an individual’s construction of the story of their life to make sense of how they have lived their lives. It’s backward looking, exploring the past to gain insight into why you have lived your life the way you have. There’s certainly value to be had from this exercise.

But my view of personal narratives emphasizes the future, rather than the past. In my approach, personal narratives are really about your view of the future. What’s the big opportunity or threat that you perceive out in the future that ultimately will shape all of your choices and actions?

There’s another difference. Narrative psychologists tend to focus on the individual and how they have lived their lives. The narrative is about the individual. In my framing, a personal narrative is really about your call to action to others – what is it that you want them to do to help you address that opportunity or threat out in the future?

Exploring your own narrative

So, why does this matter? While I believe we can gain significant insight by looking into our past, I ultimately believe that our greatest value will come from asking what kind of opportunity or threat out in the future is most meaningful to us at this point in time. Of course, our view of that opportunity or threat is likely shaped by our experiences in the past, but the key starting point for me is to take a hard look first at our view of the future today.

Few of us have made that view explicit to ourselves, much less reflected on it, and yet it will shape all of our key decisions and actions as we move forward. Equally important, I believe we need to shift our focus from ourselves to others. No matter how strong and smart we are as individuals, we’ll be a lot stronger and smarter if we can connect with and work with others who are motivated by the opportunity or threat that we’ve identified.

Now, in that context, a look into the past can be very illuminating. How has our view of the future evolved through our lives and what help have we sought from others? Has that view of the future been a productive one, a view that has helped us focus on the things that really matter to us? Has that view of the future been one that could motivate others to join us on the journey and invest significant time and effort from their side to make more progress on the journey? Is there a higher impact view of the future now that could help us to achieve even more impact in areas that really matter to us?

And that brings us to purpose

That inquiry leads quickly into the question of purpose. What kind of future impact is most meaningful to us and are we most committed to achieving? Is that opportunity or threat that we see out on the horizon really the one that matters the most to us personally or are we simply reflecting some broader societal perceptions?

I fear that too many of us still focus our narratives on opportunities that have been defined for us by others. Achieve success in the profession that your parents pressured you into. Get married and raise good kids. Be a good citizen.

But, the question that rarely gets asked is whether those are the things that really matter to you or did you just fall into them because that’s what you thought others expected of you?

The most successful personal narratives are those that are shaped by a genuine and deeply held sense of personal purpose. Why are you here on this earth? What do you most want to be remembered for? What kind of impact will give you the most satisfaction?

I hasten to add here that, unlike many people, I don’t equate purpose with some broader sense of social good like curing world hunger or reversing climate change. Those kinds of things may indeed be your purpose, but purpose for many can be much more mundane. It could be fixing appliances, cleaning clothes, carving amazing things out of wood, or just maintaining a building for its residents. These may seem mundane to you, but to many individuals it is what gets them really excited and gives them fulfillment.

High impact purpose requires passion

For me, personal purpose is ultimately about passion – a very specific form of passion that I call “the passion of the explorer” and that I’ve discussed at length in blog posts and research reports (for examples, look here and here). This passion starts with a long-term commitment to making an increasing impact in a specific domain. People with this form of passion aren't satisfied with simply learning about a domain or having impact in that domain – they're determined to make an increasing impact through action over time. As a result, they have a questing disposition – they're excited by, and seek out, challenges that will help them to get better faster. And, they also have a connecting disposition – their first reaction when confronted with an unexpected challenge is to seek to connect with others who can help them get to a better answer faster.

Few of us have been fortunate enough to discover our passion, much less integrate it into our profession. Our survey of the US workforce suggests that at most 13% of workers are passionate about their work. Yet, I believe we’re all capable of passion and we all hunger inside for this passion – it is after all, a powerful way for us to achieve far more of our potential.

So, what happened? Our institutions, driven by a quest for scalable efficiency, have taught us from our first day of school that our key goal is to fit in, accept the priorities of the institution, and perform predictably and reliably. You don’t matter; the institution does.

How does this shape our personal narratives? We tend to focus on opportunities or threats that are meaningful to our institutions and not to us. We also tend not to ask for help because, in a world of scalable efficiency, asking for help tends to be viewed as a sign of weakness. In contrast, people with the passion of the explorer are driven to ask for help because they see the potential for even greater impact by working together.

Is it any wonder that our personal narratives tend to be frustrating and ineffective? They’re not really ours. They’re what we think others want to hear.

Connecting personal narratives and purpose

This is the powerful connection I see between purpose and personal narratives. Purpose is about what is really meaningful and exciting to the individual, not the institution – it is about uncovering our passion of the explorer. Until we discover that passion, we’re never going to be really effective in mobilizing others to join us in our quest and we will remain frustrated, isolated individuals struggling to achieve impact in areas that don’t really matter to us.

At the end of the day, it really is about connecting with and leveraging the support of others – that’s what successful personal narratives accomplish. If we haven't found our purpose that shapes how we frame the opportunity ahead, whatever opportunity we land on will lack credibility to others. We're remarkably good at determining whether someone is genuinely excited and driven by an opportunity or is simply playing a game defined by others. If you as an individual are not genuinely excited and driven by an opportunity, how can you expect others to get excited by the opportunity?

Also, if we’re not really asking for help from others in our personal narrative, how can we possibly expect the support we all need in a world of mounting performance pressure? Asking for help expresses vulnerability, it acknowledges that we can’t accomplish something on our own. That expression of vulnerability builds trust. Building trust helps to motivate people to join together and embark on some challenging journeys together.

But, wait, what’s the likelihood of getting much help if the opportunity defined by our purpose is a deeply personal one? Doesn’t that by definition preclude help from others who are driven by their own deeply personal purpose?

The purpose may be a deeply personal one, but the opportunity defined by that purpose is something that likely will be meaningful to many. And it will become even more meaningful to others if they see how deeply committed you are to it, not just in words, but in action. The key is to show through your own actions how deeply committed you are to achieving impact. Others who care about impact in the same domain will soon take notice and eagerly respond to your request for help. Take the example of someone who is passionate about fixing appliances. The opportunity that would become the basis of a personal narrative is to minimize downtime of appliances, something that many could embrace as an opportunity worth working for.

Bottom line

There's an untapped opportunity to achieve far more of our potential. We all have personal narratives that are guiding our lives and shaping our relationships with others, yet few of us have taken the time to make those narratives explicit and to reflect on whether these are truly the personal narratives that could maximize the impact that is most meaningful to us.

Here are some questions we might ask that could help us evolve our narratives in ways that are most meaningful and impactful for us:

• What is the opportunity (or threat) that guides my narrative today?
• Have I discovered a passion that could frame my purpose?
• If yes, does this opportunity (or threat) reflect my passion and purpose?
• If I haven’t yet discovered my passion, what can I do to explore further and connect with a passion that is most meaningful to me?
  
  

Comments

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life has a body and soul

[Jerrymichalski]

Lovely post, John.

I've always admired Tony Deifell's Playa project, Why Do You Do What You Do? (https://twitter.com/wdydwyd).

So I did a short video answering that question myself a few years ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dx-6I9Sc6A

Now I'm thinking about it all anew. Want to create a narrative you'd want to use as an example :)